Life is so interesting.. A wild ride for sure! With all its ups and downs. Struggles and also, moments of pure joy that you want to freeze and enjoy, forever.
Yesterday the kids and I had a really rough day. I couldn’t figure out why but all day I was super irritated and annoyed. I kept asking the kids to clean up and go somewhere to be quiet. Inside myself I was striving, wanting to make the most of our day, cram in as much as we could get done, all just to achieve a feeling. A feeling of our home being clean and calm. Does that sound familiar to anyone else? Maybe I’m the only one who struggles with this, I don’t know. I’m realizing lately that it has a lot to do with the way I was raised.
Being brought up in a minimal, organized and mostly always spotless home, shaped me to process life best, when I’m in that sort of environment. When it’s quiet, peaceful and definitely clean.
Well having all my kids super close in age and then adding a baby (now toddler) to the mix, all while living in a smaller home (for the average American that is) on top of homeschooling, really doesn’t compare to the up bringing that I had.
Growing up us kids went to school, my mother had more time alone at home, to clean and make it to her liking. There was only four of us siblings and we were fairly spread out in age. We moved a lot and didn’t own as many things, deep cleaned the house weekly (if not more) and the list goes on and on of all the differences that my childhood had, compared to the one my kids are having.
I realized today that I’m striving for possibly an unrealistic illusion. For the most part i’ve always managed to keep things that way but at times it came at a high cost of stress and more often then not it began to affect my mental heath and mood. I am trying to be realistic and honest with myself while still learning a lot on this journey to minimalism that our family is currently on.
Yesterday after having yet another frustrating day of not feeling like I got much done, (due to my eye giving out, yep you heard that right, my right eye was hurting so bad I could barely keep it open most of the day) the kids and I ended the day, by sharing our feelings of frustration with each other. We then prayed that God would let us have a “make over day” since we couldn’t “re start” the one we just lived, we decided we would start the next day off right and have the best day ever. I asked each of them what their perfect day would look like and with that we said our good nights.
I woke up the next morning with my second daughter getting my youngest out of his bed and shushing him, she told him that “mama needs more sleep”. It was so precious. The thing is, I ended up falling asleep in his bedroom after he woke up in the middle of the night asking for me.
Side note* With all my other kids I was strict and always said no to requests, like occasionally sleeping with them when they were having a hard night but knowing now how fast time flies and how quickly they grow up, it’s a battle I choose not to fight anymore. I just get my pillow and blanket and cozy up in his room with him. I do it willingly because I never know if this will be the last time he needs me in this way.
When I was pregnant with my second child, the pregnancy was hard and I could no longer carry my one year old around like I used to. I thought to myself “I’ll just carry her when this baby is born” well my friends, that never really happened because she didn’t want to be carried like that anymore, she is the most independent person you would ever meet. Potty trained at one, dressing herself by one and a half, taking care of baby brother and talking fluently in two languages by two, then caring for twin siblings by the age of four, all while giving me time to rest and making me breakfast in bed, (my favorite egg and toast I might add, by the age of FOUR! using a pan, toaster and the stove like a pro). I never realized that there would be so many “last” moments that I would never even remember with her. So now I soak every one of them up with my youngest (including weening him hopefully by the time he turns three lol). I know she grew up faster then most kiddos and I trusted her a lot like my parents did with me but it sure taught me a very valuable lesson to treasure all the moments because they don’t last forever.
As I was journaling this after I put my little one down for the night, my older kids baked some cookies and made me some tea. They asked me to come join them and watch “The Waltons” with them. I told them I was busy and probably not today but then I realized that I just wrote about how fast they grow up and they may not want to do this with me for much longer, so I shut the computer down and went and finished the night with them. We watched our favorite “together” show, had some milk and cookies and I gave them massages (their favorite thing for bed time) while speaking the few chapters I have memorized out of the Bible over them. That concluded our perfect day and I wouldn't change a thing.
Continuing… it was at 5:30 in the morning when my little one asked me to sleep in the room with him, I figured I’d wait for him to fall asleep and sneak out to get a head start on my day. Turns out he kept checking to see if I was still there and by the time he fell asleep, he had managed to put me back to sleep as well! Haha so that's how I ended up sleeping in and getting woken up by my kiddos instead of me waking them up.
They surprised me with breakfast (they made eggs and baked some croissants, oh and they didn’t forget the spinach!) and they cleaned up all the areas they missed from the day before! After breakfast I sorta just waited and prayed for the Lord to lead our day. I sure didn’t want to mess things up again! I got a phone call from my sister in law, telling me she had the day off and wanted to “steel” my oldest daughter, to spend the day with her. I told her she’s begged me to go to Target for a few days now and would be excited if she could take her there. They ended up doing that amongst other things and my daughter had a wonderful day. For the others I decided to take up the offer of a neighbor, about having my kids go over to play in their pool with her son. My three other children were thrilled to go do that.
On my way home I passed by another neighbor whom I had met but didn’t get her number, so I went and knocked on her door. I spontaneously invited her to come over for tea while most of my kiddos were away. She kept asking me if that’s how I wanted to spend the few hours without the kids and I honestly didn’t even think about it until she mentioned it. I told her that if I wouldn’t be having her over then I’d probably be cleaning and I’d much rather get aquatinted instead. Well she came right over I didn’t have much time to prepare or even get myself properly ready for her visit but it went well and I’m happy to say i’ve made a new friend!
Something the Lord has been teaching me lately is to let go of the perfectionist mentality because with it I miss out on so many experiences like this one. Honestly looking back most of my really good and close friendships were born, by the Lord spontaneously leading me to invite a stranger over for tea, like Babushka Masha here. Or getting past my tired self and striking up a conversation at the Library and making a new good friend (you know who you are ;) or like my latest, walking past my neighbors house because I wasn’t done up and thinking I’ll do it another time but then turning around and just going for it.
Honestly I am not defined by the way my house looks or if I have make up on that day, to look presentable or not. Who I am and my worth is how well I love Jesus and make him proud. So he’s been teaching me to go even more out of my comfort zone in those areas lately and honestly it is so freeing! You should try it for yourself and let me know what you think!
Now, about perspective. No matter how much we’ve decluttered in the past year, I still seem to be seeing clutter everywhere and it drives me crazy. The kids get up set with me at times because they feel like that’s my only focus in life, I seem to always feel justified and especially because my husband agrees. But today I felt a perspective shift, when I was at our newly made friends house dropping off my kids, I went in and looked around. Their home is identical to ours but it felt so different. It was neat and tidy but felt smaller, the different furniture and the placing of things, as well as wall colors and decor, everything was different. It almost felt like a different house even though it was the same. Coming back into my house I also felt different, I saw things in a new light. I realized that I actually do like my house and it’s really not all as bad as I tend to feel that it is. I saw all the changes and up dates that we had made to it and I was reminded of how much joy I had remodeling this house and making it our own. You can see some photos of the befores and afters here if you’d like. Let me know in the comments if you’d like another house update of all our most recent add on’s??
My dearest husband kindly agreed to moving our dining room into this room, that’s right off of our entry way. We actually like it a lot better this way. It was supposed to be temporary for the Christmas season because the tree wouldn’t fit anywhere else with the other arrangement we had. But we ended up loving it and keeping it this way.
This is our living room/breakfast nook. With the kitchen across. I’m constantly rearranging lol so it won’t be staying this way for too much longer. But we’re liking it for now :)
It’s still hard to believe sometimes that it only takes me a few minutes of cleaning up to get the kitchen all clutter free. One year on this journey and I’m finally feeling the freedom I had been dreaming about!
Sometimes it feels too empty and bland but for now I’m LOVING it! Maybe after I’m fully done minimizing our whole home, them I’ll focus more on design but for now it sparks me joy to have it this way. (Oh and yes that is a bug shell on the bottom right haha we have them all over the house because the kids love collecting them! #lifewithkids ;)
Our latest door transformation! I Love the soft, warm, sage color. The darker blue was nice too and I loved how it tied in with the kitchen, before we remodeled it but change is nice and it feels fresh. (Thank you mother for helping us paint this door and always making our dreams into reality!) Oh and I love the wreath (pink is my favorite color hehe) It was a Goodwill find. I looked everywhere online for something I liked and it was either out of the budget price I wanted to spend on it or it was just the typical flimsy wreaths that fall apart after one season. So what did I do?? I prayed about it, yep and I stopped looking for it, then one day when I was out thrifting with my daughter we came across this and it was perfect! For only $5 can’t get a much better deal then that :)
I realize how blessed I am to have a house that I really do love and enjoy and that we have turned into a home together. Slowly but surely we’ve made these up dates and changes that bring us joy. So why am I letting the crumbs on the table and the toys on the floor put me in such a bad mood that affects the rest of the family?? Is it really worth it or maybe do I need a perspective shift so that I can be grateful and happy instead?
I am definitely choosing to see things differently now, to embrace the imperfection, to let people in and show them that I don’t always have an instagram worthy home. Because we live, learn and grow here and now I’m seeing a “trend” of us making unexpected friends here. So many people have followed me home when I least expected to have company and now they are dear friends of mine, whom I will cherish and remember for life (my oldest friend that I made Babushka Masha passed away, I shared some of that story here. I never did regret that I obeyed the Lord and had her follow me home, to have tea with us and start a new friendship which I didn't know would only last a short year).
Guys the perfect facade, the effort to keep up and the joy that it all steals is just not worth it. It is easier said then done believe me! I’m currently in the “learning” process which is so hard I will admit, it is embracing at times but we learn from those moments and the greater gift we gain through new friendships and closeness to the Lord by obeying him is TOTALLY worth it!
Be encouraged today to just be you. In the raw (but always growing) state that God made you. Draw near to him and let him transform you because that is true beauty, that will cover all the imperfection that you feel your life has. He is so good and he loves us all so much. Every single one of us in our own unique way, let him in and let him show you.
So to sum up our day, we each had a PERFECT day just like each one of us wanted. When the kids asked me what my perfect day would look like, I didn’t even know. But after I lived it, I knew that I couldn’t have planned it out better for myself. So I will forever live by one of my favorite verses “We can make our plans, but the LORD determines our steps” Proverbs 16:9
Thanks for stopping by!
Blessings, Natty